Monday, May 2, 2011

Can we film the operation? Is the head dead yet? You know the boys in the newsroom got a running bet. Get the widow on the set we need dirty laundry


Last night as I was working on a project online (read: downloading music and shoe shopping) and half listening to the t.v. (I'm one of those people that always have the t.v. on for background noise), I heard the news that Bin Laden kicked it. Now, obviously good news right? I mean, I know there are bleeding hearts out there who are all "all human life is a gift", and "everyone has an eternal soul", and blah blah blah. Clearly I'm not one of them. I tend to think Americans are pretty much gun toting, flag waving, gum flapping fanaticals, but I do think they hit the nail on the head with capitol punishment, which we unfortunately do not have in Canada. I believe the punishment should fit the crime - you off someone, you should be offed yourself. I would take it one further than the U.S., though, and decree that your execution should be in the exact manner as that which you used on your victim. That might actually be a real deterrant, rather than letting criminals spend their sentences in country clubs with bars on the windows.

Whoops... I digress...

So here's where I'm confused: One of the networks claimed that the body is in the custody of the U.S., and is undergoing DNA testing to determine that it is, in fact, the body of Osama Bin Laden. Here's where I'm a little fuzzy: this man has been the most elusive fugitive on the planet for over a decade, evading capture despite the best efforts of the military. So it's all well and good that there is a body to take DNA samples from, but precisely what are they comparing to? I sincerely doubt he volunteered a blood sample at some point, just in case he died and wanted to assist in his absolute indentification. Another news station claimed that his body has been buried at sea. Really??? The U.S. government just decided to toss him overboard a navy ship just as the story broke? Sure. I have some excellent land in Florida to sell you if you believe that one.

The good thing about this story, aside from the obvious being that a terrorist is (possibly) dead (pending "DNA identification"), is it overshadowed the gong show that was the royal wedding. Now, instead of weeks and weeks of post-mortem on Kate's dress (too much lace), the Queen's hat (who cares), and William's thinning hair (seriously, he's not even 30 yet and he's bearing a startling resemblance to his dad, and no one is running out to make a calendar of him), now the world will be hearing some actual relevant news, and the people affected by the events of 9-11-01 can now perhaps get some kind of closure knowing the man who perpetrated these crimes is, in fact, dead.

We just have to get the news from a hairsprayed, overly-made-up news anchor with a shit eating grin. Oh well. I guess we can't win 'em all.

*Dirty Laundry - Don Henley*

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