I'm pretty sure beer was invented for retail managers during the holiday season. Case in point: I have just finally stopped moving for the first time today (aside from the drive home, it's also the first time I have sat since 1:30 this afternoon), and my bff Stella has managed to do a rather nice job of taking the edge off. Thanks buddy. You're the bestest.
How does the holiday season bring out the worst in people? I have asked myself this question every year for my 15 year life in retail management, but seriously, what the hell is wrong with people? Here's an example of holiday shopper stupidity: A woman comes into my store today (November 15) with a jacket she purchased yesterday and her receipt. She is furious that the sales person who sold it to her assured her that she could return the jacket if needed between December 28th and January 9th. When I told her that that was, in fact, the case, and she could indeed return it between those dates, she shoved her receipt in my face and demanded to know why we were lying to her, when it states on the receipt that "holiday gift purchases made after November 15th were eligible for returns between December 28th and January 9th". I told her that we understand that not everyone shops for the holidays only after November 15th, and have never been strict with our return policy, and that the associate was being helpful and honest with her. She proceeded to shove the receipt at me 3 more times, demanding to know why we would print that policy on the receipt if we weren't strict about it, even though I explained that from a customer service standpoint, we do everything to make our customers happy, and that we will gladly return her holiday purchases even if they were made prior to November 15th. So you know what she made me do? Return the entire purchase and resell it to her so today's date would reflect on her receipt. Apparently me telling her that I am the store manager and giving her my business card was not enough to assuage her neurosis that we would laugh in her face and tell her to shove her prior-to-November-15th-purchase up her ass. To be honest, I would have liked to, but that would have been at odds with the wondrous joy of the holiday retail season, where Mariah Carey makes whale sounds (read: generic Christmas pop) on sound systems in malls around the world, and reindeers take it upon themselves to shit in peoples' Corn Flakes, leaving me to deal with the fall-out.
40 more sleeps until you can all kiss my ass.
*All I Want For Christmas is You - Mariah Carey*