My words are like a rope that's wrapped around my throat wash my mouth with soap for words unfit to quote

Since we last spoke...

Last Friday I decided it was time to bite the bullet and take my ancient (read: 1997) Cavalier in for service, which is guaranteed to result in at least one technician, and my sister (who is a service advisor) and her deskmates all having a good laugh/eye roll at my expense (just to give you an idea, the last time I took her in, it was because her muffler fell off. And yes, it's a girl. Her name is Carmelina). Anyway, my plan was to tough it out until my loan was paid off, and go ahead and buy a new car sometime in the spring, without doing any major work to Carmelina, who, by the way, sounds a lot like a hot muscle car, but is really a very rusty 4-cylinder who has seen much better days. So my sister comes out to the waiting room to tell me the news, much akin to a doctor coming out of surgery to let the family know, yes, your loved one has made it, unfortunately he no longer has a left foot. Ok, maybe not really, but whatever. So Carmelina has, in the last few months, sprung an oil leak somewhere in the engine, and me, fed up with yet another repair, said to hell with it, and bought myself A NEW CAR!!! I am now the proud mama of a 2010 Dodge Avenger SXT, and am fully in love. His name is Rico. I blow kisses to him as I leave him in the parking lot at work in the mornings, and may have checked on him before bedtime, you know, just to make sure he's not lonely.

R.I.P. Carmelina. I'll miss you...

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I am knee-deep in the holiday season at work, work being a retail clothing store, and every year I am astounded at the people I encounter in my days. Today, for instance, I had a rather pleasant (sarcastic, for snotty bitch) woman come to the counter with a $15 scarf, who then proceeded to demand that I gift wrap it for her (ok, yes, we are a high-end retailer, but we still don't actually gift-wrap. You can have a box and wrap it yourself), and gave me supreme attitude when I told her I was sorry, we had just run out of tissue paper. I'm thinking this shouldn't be the end of the world, I mean, it's not like I ran out of SCARVES, I ran out of tissue, but she stood there staring at the scarf as though debating whether she now wanted it, and after a moment of awkward silence, said to me (in the most condescending voice) "HOW do you run out of TISSUE during CHRISTMAS?" which, of course, hit my jackass button with a vengeance, causing me to immediately bite back the plethora of sarcastic responses that were swirling around in my head like whirling dervishes. After telling her I was terribly sorry, but it's BECAUSE it's the holiday season that we unfortunately ran out, and have tissue paper on order, and would she like me to box it for her, she stared me down again, and asked for our head office number. I MEAN REALLY?!?!? Are you going to tell me you are actually going to call my office in Toronto to complain that my store didn't have a sheet of paper to wrap her scarf in? Where do these people come from? I would love to have the kind of time some of these people have. And it's still early in the season... let's see what other dumbass issue someone has next week...

This is why malls are always in close proximity to lounges. Customers drive me to drink...

*All Hell for a Basement - Big Sugar*